Review: Jane Jones: Worst Vampire Ever (Caissie St. Onge)

Product Details 
Reading Level: Upper MG/ YA
Pages: 204
Publisher: Random House (May 10, 2011)
ISBN: 9780375968914
Source: My own personal copy

For Jane Jones, being a vampire is nothing like you read about in books. In fact, it kind of sucks. She's not beautiful, she's not rich, and she doesn't "sparkle." She's just an average, slightly nerdy girl from an ordinary suburban family (who happens to be vampires.) Jane's from the wrong side of the tracks (not to mention stuck in the world's longest awkward phase), so she doesn't fit in with the cool vampire kids at school or with the humans kids. To top it all off, she's battling an overprotective mom, a clique of high school mean girls (the kind who really do have fangs), and the most embarrassing allergy in the history of the undead, she's blood intolerant. So no one's more surprised than Jane when for the first time in her life, things start to heat up (as much as they can for a walking corpse, anyway) with not one, but two boys. Eli's a geeky, but cute real-live boy in her history class, and Timothy is a beautiful, brooding bloodsucker, who might just hold the key to a possible "cure" for vampirism. Facing an eternity of high school pressure, fumbling first dates, or a mere lifetime together with Timothy, what's a 90-something year-old teen vampire to do?
I already announced that I thought this book was cute when I did my mid-book review. The premise behind a blood intolerant vampire strikes me as pretty darn funny. Of course, I'm the type of person that will smile at the mentioning of diarrhea and corny jokes in novels. I smiled a lot during this book.

As I finished this book, I realized that I found some things about the plot that I didn't like. Originally, I was intrigued with Timothy--the hunky vampire hot throb-- but by the end of the story he annoyed me. I think his part was rushed and the author "did away with" him in the best way she saw fit. I was a little disappointed to say the least. As far as love interests go though, I really liked Eli. What a dork. But an extremely likeable dork. I picture him as the kind of kid that has a lunch box full of  PB&J sandwiches with no crusts, napkins with superhero imprints, and 100% juice juice boxes-- in high school, of course. You really couldn't help but like the kid. I could tell that he was meant to be the main love interest, because his part in the story felt consistent and even. It didn't feel neglected or rushed.

For those of you that like the quirky, sarcastic MCs-- this is another book to add to your list. Jane is every bit as feisty as Pearl in Sarah Beth Durst's Drink, Slay, Love. She may not have as much "bite" (I couldn't resist it) as Pearl, but she has a lot of heart. Okay, I'll stop. It's just too easy... Seriously, though, Jane has a likeable quality that you seem drawn to--even if she is technically undead. Oh, and the bad guys? They are extra bad. Astrid is a super bi-atch. And that favorite teacher turned arch-nemesis I mentioned in the mid-book review? Whoa, nelly! I have to admit, at the moment, that was a twist I didn't expect.

Overall, Jane Jones: Wort Vampire Ever was a super quick, fun read that was perfect for my Halloween themed reading pleasure. It wasn't scary (I don't do scary). I laughed out loud several times-- enough that my 9 year old son started hanging over my shoulder trying to read the book too. I'm not sure if this would hold the attention of an upper YA reader, but it would work for the older MG crowd.



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